im alone always alone
by phoenix-shalimar
Summary: kai spills about something that happened in his past to make him the way he is today


heres something that i thought of in the early hours of the morning were normal people are asleep but im not normal so doesnt matter

please R&R and tell me what you think

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Alone!... alone thats me the loner, lonewolf, anti- social, cold hearted, mean spirited, whatever you wanna call me doesnt matter its all the same im always gonna be alone, even surrounded by people im still alone, no-one can get close to me i am untouchable

invisable? no untouchable? Yes?

Do you ever feel like being invisable? Sure you do when you fall up the stairs and everyone just points and laughs but not me i have never fallen nor tripped nor done anything embarrasing for people to laugh at me no but i am a world famous blader and many people stare at you when your famous even if you don't want them to they just do like its the most fascinating thing in the world,well let me tell you its not no not at all

now fascinating would be if you could bring someone back from the dead actually that would be a miracle dont people proclaim miracles everyday?

If i could bring anyone back form the grave it would deffinately be my mother i can still smell her perfume she always smelled like strawberries and her smile so gentle and loving i wish i could remember more of her like her eyes or her hair her face do i looke like her or my dad? Do i have her hair or her eyes or neither?

I will never know my grandfather burnt every picture of my parents i dont even know which parent was a hiwitari, im ean sure you'll probly say isnt it obvious? Well to be honest no its not my mother could have kept her maiden name powerful families do that dont they?

I think the last time i ever saw my mother i would have been most likely 3 years of age after that she was dead and instead of waking up to my mothers lovely smile every morning i got my grandfathers stony cold hard face i dont ever remember my father at all i have no memories of him whatsoever was he even there or did he just abandon my mum neither was mentioned ever after they died i was alone she left me with him by myself why would she do that why leave me with grandfather all he wanted me for was world domination, the perfect soldier emotionless,ruthless, cold.

He made me into the person i am today its his fault im alone always alone how can i be sure that he didn't kill them my parents so that he could turn me into the perfect soldier it wouldnt surprise me if he did he is capable of it after all he did kill my best friend no not tala there was another, another

D-boy yes there was always me, Tala, Spencer, Bryan and Ian but there used to be 6 of us Rodney, the 6 six where the gand at the abby we were the best bladers and the strongest Rodney was at the top then it was me, Tala, Spencer, and then Ian but Rodney got to strong stronger than all of us and that had boris and my grandfather worried,

worried that one day he ight surpass them so they killed him i still remember that day as clearly as if it had only just happened yesterday,

it was 7:00 am and the abbey was alive well as alive as it could get, it was snowing i could tell it would soon turn into a blizzard and the coldness was almost unbearablebut we all had to act like it didnt affect us at all

Boris, my grandfather and a trainer called Steve took Rodney and I out to the mountains we were told that it was a training exercise since we were the strongest bladers they said we needed more of a challenge in our training we happily went along knowing that no one else was getting this extra training we didnt even get to the mountains when we stopped i guessed that we were just having a break since we were only half way there i guessed that it was about 8:00 am i smiled at rodney and he smiled back i didnt think there was anything wrong but when my grandfather pulled out a gun i knew instantly that this was no training exercise i saw him aim it at Rodney my eyes widened in shock and i started running towards Rodney but the trainer Steve grabbed me and held me in place i screamed out at Rodney to run as i struggled in the trainers grip he only tightened his hold i screamed again at Rodney to run but he couldnt here me because of the wind the blizzard was starting to come in now i didnt even her the gun go off but as Rodney's body crumpled to the ground and a pile of blood formed on his chest i knew that he had been shot i felt myself being picked up and was flung over Steve the trainers sholder and all i saw of Rodney was his body slowly dissappearing in the white snow that sight has haunted me ever since

i was 6 years of age when that happened by the time we had reached the abby i knew that i had changed wouldnt you if you had just seen your best friend shot at the age of 6 when i was returned to the training group i slowly walked over to the D-boys scowl on my face and anger boiling deep inside me anger at my grandfather how could he kill a 6 year old boy just because he was strong isnt that what they wanted us to be strong?

They knew that something was up as soon as i entered the training room the D-boys i mean,

rumors flew around the abbey for days about Rodneys dissappearance quite a few about me about how i pushed him off the mountain in a fit of jelous ragecos he was stronger than i was but only the D-boys myself and Boris, my Grandfather and Steve knew what really happened and none of them would be telling anyone what happened anytime soon im 17 years of age now and that day that horrible day haunts me still even 11 years later i still see his dead body crumpling to the ground lying unmoving it haunts me about how i did nothing to help him

i only blame myself for his death its all my fault.

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hey so what did you think? like it? hated it? tell me all you gotta do is push tht lil purple button go on you can do it i know you can i give you lollypop if you do?  
waves a gigantic colorful lollypop around in the air  
plenty more where this one came from and if you say something extra nice about me you might just get 2 or even 3 if im feeling genorous

peace out

shadowphoenix


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